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She has a ton of straight single male friends. My point is, it's pretty hard to get that if you're straight, let alone gay. On top of that, you don't want anyone to find out your gay or go anywhere that might seem gay, so hopefully you're getting an idea of how unlikely this is and why you need to come out, lighten up, or let go of some of your criteria because you're essentially reducing the likelihood of success to zilch.
So what can you do?
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You're probably going to have to use the internet in some way, like by going on a gay-friendly meetup such as those you'll find plenty of on http: You'll have to be around people who might seem gay to outsiders, so hopefully you're okay with that. Alternatively you could try to meet people at gay-friendly coffee shops or restaurants that are not necessarily gay-oriented. You're in San Francisco, so that's basically anywhere in the Castro or even the Mission.
Finally, if you're incredibly selective about who you come out to, go meet some straight people who don't give a crap about your sexual orientation. Maybe one of them will introduce you to someone else who doesn't mind that you're still in the closet.
I think that's a longshot, but that's exactly what you're asking for. At my age, can I find a gay man to go out with?
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Why is my boyfriend weirded out by the feminine gay guy? I'm gay. What are the most amazing places to visit in the Bay Area? How can I ask somebody out, while being in the closet? As a closeted gay man in the US, how do I date other gay men without coming out of the closet just yet? Related Questions Is there any possible way to turn lesbians straight?
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